


scent and a sound (i'm lost and i'm found)

by symphony7inAmajor



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werewolves Are Known, Anal Sex, Comeplay, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, I guessssss, M/M, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Scents & Smells, Soulmates, Were-Creatures, kind of??, werewolves are known but also not liked
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-07
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:17:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21708427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/symphony7inAmajor/pseuds/symphony7inAmajor
Summary: Patrik is a werewolf without a pack, unable to tell anyone what he really is. It's been like this since he was a teenager, though, so it shouldn't be so bad.Then he goes and falls in love with Nikolaj, perfectly and beautifully human.(what can he risk for him?)
Relationships: Nikolaj Ehlers/Patrik Laine
Comments: 15
Kudos: 184





	scent and a sound (i'm lost and i'm found)

**Author's Note:**

> **see the end note for a potential warning!!**
> 
> hello everyone. i am back. with another request fill for anon who said, "Patrik is a wolf and knows Niky is his mate but also he isn't allowed to tell anyone he is a wolf." 
> 
> so: this verse has were-creatures of all kinds. they are not liked by humans, generally speaking, so patrik keeps his being a werewolf hush hush. not a ton of lore and world building here (for Me i should say). hopefully it still makes sense!!
> 
> me: twitter what were-creature would elias pettersson be so i can oppress him
> 
> twitter: uh horse
> 
> needless to say i didn't go with that suggestion. instead a friend wokely said ermine. 
> 
> title from "hungry like the wolf" by duran duran (duh)

_ 2016 _

The first thing Patrik notices about Nikolaj is that he smells really, really good.

He’s freshly showered after skating and he’s not wearing a shirt when he steps up to introduce himself to Patrik. He smells like warm skin and soap and clean sweat, and there are some deeper scents there, too, scents that Patrik thinks would make him dizzy if he focused hard enough.

Nikolaj has to tip his face up to meet Patrik’s eyes, a gesture that bares his throat.

Only years of practice keep Patrik’s appearance fully human. If his hand tightens a little around Nikolaj’s, Nikolaj doesn’t acknowledge it. 

Instead, he releases Patrik’s hand and starts telling him everything he thinks he should know about the team.

He’s still not wearing a shirt.

Patrik keeps his gaze fixed firmly on Nikolaj’s eyes, and doesn’t look at his mouth, his throat, his chest.

If there’s anything Patrik can’t afford to do, it’s shift in front of his new teammates.

He’ll get a handle on the way being around Nikolaj makes him feel and he’ll be _ fine. _ Nobody has to know that he’s a werewolf. Nobody _ will _ know.

So Patrik manages to follow his own rules for three years.

The thing is, though, is that Patrik can’t _ not _ hang out with Nikolaj. Even if he could, he’d still want to be around Nikolaj all the time. There’s something about him, some draw, and Patrik can’t escape it.

Then he does something truly, incontrovertibly stupid.

He falls in love with Nikolaj.

_ 2019 _

As far as league cities go, Patrik thinks he got lucky with Winnipeg. Trying to find some good woods for hunting near Toronto is probably close to impossible, but Patrik manages to drive out of the city once or twice a week to shift.

It’s lonely, though. His family—his _ pack _—is back in Finland. There aren’t any other weres on the Jets, either, and Patrik doesn’t want to look for any local packs to hunt with. He’s fine on his own, just.

He misses his pack.

Some nights, he goes into the woods and runs until his paws ache. When he finally can’t go on, he’ll tip his head back and howl his loneliness to the stars.

_ There’s nothing sadder than a lone wolf, _Patrik’s grandmother had told him once. She had told him that no matter where hockey took him, he must always find a pack.

Patrik hadn’t understood, not yet. He’d had his team—wasn’t that enough?

Now, an ocean away from home and from his family, he knows it isn’t. This secret weighs on him every day. He doesn’t know what to do.

He can’t tell the team. That much is obvious. They’d think he was a monster—he’s heard the way some of them talk about weres, like they’re some kind of abomination. Patrik just keeps his head down and pretends he’s not listening.

He knows there are wolves on other teams, and he knows that those wolves know who he is. They’re on other teams, though. The Jets are the closest thing Patrik has to a pack now and he’s not—he can’t start fraternizing with wolves from opposing teams. He knows it’s silly, but it’s instinct. He can’t help it.

Most of all, though, Patrik wants to tell Nikolaj. That hurts a lot, because Nikolaj is the one that Patrik wishes he could tell the most. He wishes he could tell Nikolaj, could be honest with him in a way that he isn’t with anyone else, but he knows how Nikolaj would react.

Patrik imagines it more often than he’d like to admit.

He can see the way Nikolaj’s expression would change to fear and dismay, the thinly veiled horror in his eyes, the way he’d step away from Patrik—

Well. Patrik thinks about it a lot, is all.

There isn’t really anybody Patrik can talk to about _ that _ problem, either. The whole being-in-love-with-Nikolaj one, that is. Pinja figured it out the first time she met Nikolaj, claiming that she could smell Patrik’s feelings.

It had been gross enough that Patrik hadn’t spoken to her about it again. It hadn’t stopped her from asking him about it, though, citing her supposed vested interest in her big brother’s love life.

“Maybe if you get a boyfriend, you’ll stop smelling so depressed whenever I see you,” she tells him once, with all the diplomacy possessed by little sisters.

Patrik rolls his eyes in disgust, but he does sniff himself discreetly when he’s alone again. He does _ not _ smell depressed.

Just a little bit sad, maybe. Whatever.

Patrik notices that Nikolaj never says anything about weres, even when the conversation turns to that. If Patrik couldn’t smell that Nikolaj is completely, perfectly human, he’d have thought that Nikolaj was like him. As it is, it helps Patrik feel a little less like he’s obvious in his silence. 

It also makes him wonder why Nikolaj never talks about it—even with him.

Until he does.

“Have you ever met, um, a were?” Nikolaj asks.

They’re at Nikolaj’s apartment, sitting on opposite ends of the couch with their video game controllers on the cushions beside them. Nikolaj has his feet kicked up on the coffee table and his head on the back of the couch so he can stare at the ceiling.

Patrik is distracted by the line of Nikolaj’s bare, unmarked throat for a long moment, but he manages to recover. “Yeah,” he says, “why?”

Nikolaj blows out a long exhale and doesn’t answer for a moment. His scent is sharp, nervous, and it’s making Patrik tense. He wants to bear Nikolaj down against the couch, make his discomfort disappear, but that’s not his place.

Instead, he waits for Nikolaj to speak.

“I met a guy the other day,” Nikolaj says, and Patrik’s jealousy flares. “He was a, um, a fox shifter, I think.”

Patrik slips his hands into his hoodie pocket as subtly as he can. When his emotions are strong like this, it’s harder to control his shifting. He doesn’t want Nikolaj to see his claws.

“Yeah?” Patrik says, hoping his voice doesn’t sound too weird. A _ fox? _Patrik has to suppress his growl.

“He was—well, I don’t know how to explain it, but he was kind of weird, like.” Nikolaj pauses, licks his lips. “I told him not to mark up my neck, and. Um.” Nikolaj’s face is flushed red and his scent is embarrassment mixed with—arousal?

Patrik breathes in through his mouth and tries to control himself. His claws finally retract and he curls his hands into fists.

Acting like he can’t smell what Nikolaj is feeling, Patrik asks, “did he do something bad?”

Nikolaj shakes his head. “No, no, it was just—” He sighs, then he stands up. He lifts his shirt up with one hand and pushes his sweats down a little bit, enough for Patrik to see the absolute tapestry of bruises on his hips.

Patrik is so shocked that he can’t suppress his gasp, but Nikolaj probably doesn’t know the real reason for it. 

The pale skin of Nikolaj’s hips is covered in hickies, though Patrik can see a few that look like fingerprints. He wouldn’t be surprised if the marks went down Nikolaj’s thighs, too.

Before he can stop himself, Patrik leans forward and brushes his fingertips over Nikolaj’s hip bone.

Nikolaj shivers and his breath hitches, and Patrik freezes when he realizes what he’s doing.

“Sorry,” he mumbles. He clears his throat and Nikolaj readjusts his clothes. “I—he did that to you?”

“Yeah,” Nikolaj says. He slouches into the couch cushions and makes a face, pressing a hand against his hip. “I don’t think I’ve ever slept with a shift before, but I’ve never…” He shrugs. “I didn’t know they’d be so toothy.” He doesn’t look upset, just sort of amused and awkward.

“Yeah, well, they’re monsters, aren’t they?” Patrik hates himself for even saying it, but it’s the only thing he can think of that might divert suspicion away from himself. He can’t risk Nikolaj even thinking that Patrik might be sympathetic towards weres, because he’s seen firsthand the kind of thinking that can inspire.

He doesn’t expect Nikolaj to look _ disappointed. _“Patrik,” he says, then just looks at him with a look in his eyes like he expected better.

If Patrik was in his wolf form, he’d put his tail between his legs in shame. As it is, he shakes his head and shrugs.

“Everybody knows it,” he says, mentally apologizing to his entire family. “They look like y—like us, but they’re not. They’re animals.” He curses himself for almost slipping up, but Nikolaj doesn’t seem to have noticed.

“I think you should go,” Nikolaj says. His scent is twisted anger and sadness, and Patrik hates himself for being the cause. He’s not looking at Patrik.

Patrik wants to tell Nikolaj that he was lying, wants to shift right now to prove it, but he doesn’t. Even if Nikolaj is fine having one night stands with weres, that doesn’t mean he’d be cool with his best friend being a wolf.

Patrik pauses after putting on his boots, looking back where Nikolaj is still on the couch. He’s not looking at Patrik.

“Bye,” Patrik says, quiet, and he leaves.

Nikolaj’s silence follows him all the way home.

He’s not sure what to do with himself after that. Joona’s out, so there’s nothing to do to distract himself. He paces around his apartment and thinks about ordering food, but still feels sick to his stomach. He doesn’t know what he feels worse about: lying to Nikolaj or betraying himself and his kind in doing so.

“There was no choice,” Patrik mutters, as though saying it out loud will make it true.

The thing is, he could’ve used that chance to tell Nikolaj. He’s Patrik’s best friend, Patrik trusts him more than anybody, and when he had a chance to come clean, he couldn’t do it.

Furious at himself, Patrik storms back outside and drives as far away from the city as he can. There are a few zones in the parks that are marked safe for weres, so Patrik parks in one of the lots and shifts before anyone sees him.

He can smell that there’s nobody around, but better safe than sorry.

It’s easier to burn off his frustration as a wolf. He’s still… himself, mostly, but most of his human dramas feel a little less important.

What really matters now is the rabbit he can smell on the wind.

Patrik wags his tail and trots deeper into the trees, pushing all worries of Nikolaj out of his head to focus on the hunt. 

Staying in the woods as a wolf forever is tempting, but Patrik _ probably _ shouldn’t do it. Besides, it’s unlikely that a regular wolf pack would take him, not when he still smells like asphalt and car exhaust.

Instead of lying in a comfortable nest of leaves and sleeping there for the night, Patrik picks up his paws and trudges back to his car. There’s no moon tonight and the black sky is filled with a million bright points of starlight. They’re cold and impossibly far away.

Patrik drops his head. He doesn’t feel much like looking at the sky anymore.

The next morning, Patrik wakes up exhausted. His supernatural healing keeps his muscles from aching from the hunt, but no amount of healing can replace a good night’s sleep. His stomach growls. Clearly, one rangy rabbit wasn’t enough to tide him over.

Patrik eats a massive breakfast and chugs two glasses of a protein shake until his stomach finally forgives him.

Then, when Patrik doesn’t have anything else to think about, he remembers his fight with Nikolaj.

Nikolaj had seemed unusually hurt by what Patrik had said, even though the belief that weres are monsters is hardly rare among humans. There are some humans who believe that weres are people, too, and it’s not the Middle Ages anymore—nobody would try burning Patrik at the stake and only idiots still believe they’ll become weres if they get bitten—but he hadn’t thought Nikolaj would be one of them. He’d guessed that he was neutral at best on the whole thing.

It seems he misjudged Nikolaj, and now their friendship might be on the line.

Patrik drives to the rink, feeling like he’s going to his own execution. At least there isn’t a game tonight, because he’d probably fuck up every play if he keeps feeling like this.

He drags his feet as he walks to the dressing room, but Nikolaj hasn’t even arrived yet.

Patrik gets a few strange looks—he’s almost relieved that there are no other weres on the team, because they’d be all over him right now if they could smell him. He still smells like the woods, but he also smells pretty miserable underneath that.

As it is, all they have to go off of is the slump of his shoulders, the tightness in his jaw and the dark circles under his eyes. He keeps his head down and is the first one on the ice.

He can smell Nikolaj before he sees him, his familiar scent catching Patrik’s attention. He fans on the shot he was winding up to take and looks up, all his senses at attention. 

Nikolaj’s scent is dull and sad, not tinged with the sharp anger of last night anymore but still obviously upset. His shoulders are up around his ears, defensive. Patrik catches sight of the downward tilt of his mouth before Nikolaj skates away from him.

Patrik wants to skate to him, press up against him and hold him close until he stops being so upset, but he can’t. Not when it’s his fault that Nikolaj is hurting.

They’re not on the same line, so Patrik turns away and tries the shot again.

He misses the net.

Practice is, in a word, bad. 

The rest of the team might not be wolves, but Patrik still considers him his pack and they act like one, sometimes. They can tell when something isn’t right. 

Kyle keeps shooting glances between Patrik and Nikolaj, his scent bitter with worry. Mark looks concerned and Blake has a frown on his face that deepens with every messed-up play, every missed shot. 

It is, Patrik realizes wildly, a lot like how his family-pack acts when there’s a fight, even if not everyone is involved or even knows that there’s been one.

Normally, the knowledge that maybe he’s not so without a pack as he thought would be reassuring. Right now, it just makes him feel worse. Most of these guys have been his pack for _ years _ and he’s been lying to them the whole time.

Nikolaj lingers after practice and Patrik sticks around, too. 

When everyone else is gone and Patrik is standing around, ostensibly practicing his stickhandling, a puck slides over to him slowly. He looks up and sees Nikolaj with a pile of pucks beside him and a hopeful expression on his face.

“Top left,” he calls, and slings a pass over to Patrik.

Patrik barely has time to feel relieved before his instinct kicks in and he shoots—top left corner, just like Nikolaj said. 

“Crossbar,” Nikolaj says next, and they go like that until Nikolaj is out of pucks and is looking like he wants to say something but smelling like he doesn’t.

They gather the pucks in silence, then Patrik skates up to him. He stops short just before bumping their arms together, something he’d never do on a normal day. He likes it, usually, getting up in Nikolaj’s space and pushing him around, and he likes that Nikolaj likes it, too.

“What is it?” Patrik asks.

Nikolaj sighs. “How do you always do that?” he mutters, half to himself. He clears his throat. “Uh, well,” he hesitates, “after last night—” Patrik winces “—I was thinking, you know, about how I can prove to you that weres are people like us. So I had an idea, but. I don’t know, it’s stupid.”

_ Uh oh, _Patrik thinks. “What’s your idea?” he says.

Nikolaj’s scent spikes a bit in surprise. “You—you actually want to know?”

Okay, maybe calling weres monsters less than twenty four hours ago and then not immediately shooting down whatever idea Nikolaj has for proving him wrong would seem weird to Nikolaj.

“Uh, I mean,” Patrik casts around for an explanation, “I’ll let you try?” It comes out embarrassingly uncertain.

Nikolaj looks relieved, though. “Thanks, Patrik,” he says. He grins his beautiful, toothy grin, and shocks Patrik by giving him a quick hug. “I promise you’ll change your mind,” he says, stepping away and heading to the locker room.

Patrik is left staring after him, not quite sure what he’s gotten himself into here. “We’ll see,” he calls weakly. Nikolaj doesn’t hear him, though. 

What the hell has he just agreed to?

Nikolaj texts him later that night and tells him to wear something nice but not fancy, so he changes into jeans and a button down, rolling up his sleeves to make it a little more casual. It helps that it shows off his tattoo. He doesn’t bother with any cologne—that always overpowers his own sense of smell and he hates it.

“Have fun on your date!” Joona calls from where he’s lying on the couch. “Remember to use protection!”

“Remember that I can kick you out if I want,” Patrik reminds him, tying his shoes. 

Joona just laughs at him.

He waits outside for Nikolaj to pick him up, climbing into the passenger seat and checking out Nikolaj. Like, his outfit. Not _ him. _

He also checks Nikolaj out, though.

He smells like—well, he smells like _ himself _ and Patrik tries as subtly as he can to breathe deep through his nose, until he can almost taste it. He exhales.

It’s hard to tell what shirt he’s wearing under his jacket, but he’s definitely wearing some _ very _ tight jeans. _ Hook up jeans, _Adam would probably call them.

“Nik,” Patrik says, making an effort to keep the growl out of his voice, “are you planning to pick up?”

“What? No!” Nikolaj’s scent sours with embarrassment, though Patrik doesn’t know why. It’s not like it’d be the first time he’s had to wingman for Nikolaj, no matter how much it burns him on the inside. “Why would you—even thinking that, I don’t—you—”

“You’re wearing your hook up jeans,” Patrik interrupts.

“Er.” Nikolaj stares out the windshield at the road. He still smells embarrassed. “Well, I’m. It’s not what you think, okay?” He bites at his lower lip, which distracts Patrik enough that he doesn’t bother pursuing it.

They’re quiet for the rest of the drive. Patrik wishes it weren’t winter so he’d have an excuse to open the window. Being in a car with Nikolaj, especially when the car is Nikolaj’s, makes all of Patrik’s usual difficulty with ignoring his scent exponentially worse. 

The upholstery, the air, all of it smells like Nikolaj. And, of course, Nikolaj himself smelling warm and appealing only a few inches to Patrik’s left. 

Patrik tucks his nose into the collar of his jacket and presses his fingers into the tops of his thighs.

Nikolaj pulls into a parking spot on the side of a busy street and gets out of the car. He joins Patrik on the sidewalk and looks at him consideringly. 

“Promise you’re not going to freak out tonight?” he asks.

“Probably not,” Patrik answers, hoping his voice doesn’t sound too strained. He’d had enough trouble staying focused with Nikolaj beside him in the car, but now Nikolaj is standing too close, his jeans tight around his thighs and hips.

He has to tilt his head back to look at Patrik. Patrik looks at the pale arch of his neck and his teeth itch with the desire to mark up his throat, to make sure everybody knows who Nikolaj belongs to.

Patrik turns away so he’s facing into the wind and takes a deep breath. He lets the cold winter air, the smell of asphalt and smoke clear his head. Nikolaj doesn’t _ belong _ to him. This is exactly why humans are afraid of weres—the _ animal _ side of them.

He almost flinches when Nikolaj fits his hand into the crook of his elbow and tugs him along.

“Come on,” Nikolaj says, “it’s this way."

Patrik realizes where they’re going before he even sees the entrance. It’s the smell—the scent of dozens of weres in the same place.

He swallows down his questions and lets Nikolaj walk him right up to the door.

The bouncer is a werebear and is likely there to keep aggressive humans out. Nobody wants to pick a fight with a bear.

Nikolaj keeps his hand in Patrik’s arm and rubs his thumb against the pulse point in his inner elbow. Even his scent is soft as he gives off unconscious reassurance. He’s probably trying to comfort Patrik, which is so ironic that Patrik almost laughs.

The bouncer looks between Patrik and Nikolaj and raises an eyebrow at Patrik. Bears don’t have the same sense of smell as wolves, but even he can probably smell Patrik’s worry.

“Go ahead,” he says, gruff.

Patrik exhales and Nikolaj drags him through the door. So far, so good.

The scents inside almost knock Patrik off his feet.

In an instant, he can smell other wolves, foxes, deer, another bear, even a lynx and a puma. There are a few human scents and all of them smell relaxed and happy.

Patrik sucks in a breath through his teeth and wonders how anyone can stand to be in the same place as so many different weres, all of whom know how to give off certain scents to communicate.

There’s a fire lit in the stone hearth, too, adding a smoky scent to the air. It helps to dull the intensity of the scents, but not much.

Maybe, Patrik realizes as he looks around, they learn to tolerate it so they can be with people who are like them. Who _ understand. _

A number of people aren’t even drinking—just sitting around tables together and talking.

There’s a snake draped over a bobcat in front of the hearth, both of them warming up from the chill of the winter night. 

“It’s a were-bar,” Nikolaj says, as though Patrik hasn’t already realized.

Most of the people sitting at the bar are wolves, which is no surprise. A couple of them are sitting on the floor in their wolf shapes, bright eyes yellows and greens and browns.

Almost all of them turn to Patrik when he comes in, eyes sharp and ears pricked. A couple of them recognize him and relax. Following their example, the rest of the group drops their guard.

Unaware of the silent drama, Nikolaj slides up to the bar and orders a drink from the coyote bartender. He passes Patrik a Coke.

Patrik flushes a little at the curious scents from the other wolves. He makes eye contact with one of them, who tilts her head towards Nikolaj and raises an eyebrow. Patrik shakes his head and she nods, just once.

Taking a sip of his Coke, Patrik relaxes a little. The wolves won’t say anything, at least. 

Nikolaj bumps against Patrik’s side to catch his attention. “Let’s go sit,” he says.

Patrik wants to stay near the bar, near the familiar scent of wolves, but he doesn’t know how to explain that without revealing himself. Instead, he follows Nikolaj to an empty table and sits close to him in a way that other weres will recognize as protective.

Some of the wolves are watching him, but Nikolaj won’t notice that. They’re probably just making sure Patrik isn’t trying to encroach on their territory. 

He sips his Coke and scans the room. “So,” he says, “do you come here a lot?”

The humans who are here seem comfortable hanging around weres, so Patrik assumes most of the humans who come here are regulars. Friends of weres, likely.

The role reversal that he and Nikolaj embody would make him smile if he wasn’t so nervous.

“I found it by accident,” Nikolaj explains. “My phone died and I needed to call a cab, so.” He shrugs. “I came in to borrow a phone. Everyone was nice to me and they treated me sort of… carefully? I only realized they were weres as I was leaving.” He smiles bashfully, like he’s embarrassed at his lack of perception.

“And this is where you met your fox.” It’s not a question.

Nikolaj stares into his drink. “Yeah,” he says. He doesn’t smell very pleased. “That was—I shouldn’t have done that, though. It was only supposed to be one night, I _ told _ him that, but he won’t leave me alone.”

Patrik stiffens. “We should go, then,” Patrik says, voice tight. He doesn’t want to risk the fox showing up. He doesn't know what he'll do if that happens.

“No, it’s okay,” Nikolaj says. He reaches out to circle his fingers around Patrik’s wrist. “We don’t have to leave.” He squeezes Patrik’s wrist once more in a comforting gesture, then leans back to take a sip of his drink.

Patrik watches his throat work as he swallows and licks his lips absently. When he meets Nikolaj’s eyes again, Nikolaj looks a little flushed. 

His scent is almost impossible to make out with all the powerful shifter scents swirling through the warm air of the bar, but Patrik’s nose seems to be attuned to him. It’s not very useful, though. Nikolaj’s scent is confused and nearly unfamiliar, a tangled mess of emotions. 

The sharp scent of fox reaches Patrik an instant before Nikolaj reacts to the fox’s appearance. Across the table, Nikolaj stiffens and his scent twists with nerves. 

“Nik—”

“Aw, baby,” a man says, his voice grating on Patrik’s ears. “Aren’t you happy to see me?”

Patrik notices Nikolaj’s breathing speed up, his wide eyes darting to Patrik as a dark haired man steps up beside their table.

The man has a mischievous smirk on his face—classic fox. He flicks a glance at Patrik and raises an eyebrow at him. He looks over at the bar to see the other wolves looking disinterested, decides there’s no threat, and places a hand loosely on the back of Nikolaj’s neck.

Patrik growls.

It’s low and deep enough that Nikolaj probably doesn’t notice, but the fox does and the wolves _ definitely _ do. Those in their wolf forms spring to their feet, fur bushed out and eyes gleaming.

Nikolaj doesn’t notice the sudden rise in tension in the bar, too busy cringing away from the fox’s hand and glaring at him.

The fox lets his hand fall back to his side, looking around with a sharp scent of alarm.

“Don’t touch him,” Patrik says, the faintest hint of a snarl in his words. He runs his tongue over his teeth, feeling his canines grow longer and sharper.

“Whoa, okay,” the fox says, flashing a fang as he grins. He looks back at Nikolaj. “Didn’t know you went and got a boyfriend.”

Patrik is dimly aware of Nikolaj flushing and stammering a response, but Patrik stands and the chair scrapes across the floor. He’s bigger than the wiry werefox, and he leans forward menacingly.

“Back. Off,” he says. His voice is flat, cold and dangerous. He lets his eyes flash, just enough that he can blame it on the lights if Nikolaj asks.

The fox hesitates.

Wolf scent washes over Patrik and he knows without looking that two of the werewolves from the bar are standing just behind him. The bear bouncer isn’t far behind.

“Out,” he growls to the fox.

The fox looks like he wants to argue, but he turns away with a scoff and strides away.

“Thank you,” Nikolaj says quietly. He still looks uncomfortable, his shoulders curled like he can still feel the touch of the fox. He stares down at his hands, fingers fidgeting in his lap.

The bear grunts and returns to his position by the door. The wolves stay, looking up at Patrik curiously. 

Wolves don’t speak like humans do. Facial expressions, movements of the ears and eyes, all of that gives Patrik as much information as vocal conversation would.

_ Alright? _the green-eyed wolf asks.

_ Good now, _ Patrik answers, _ thank you. We’ll go. _

The yellow-eyed wolf tilts her head. _ Good, _ she says. _ Care for mate. You are both welcome here when you want to be. _

Patrik nods and the wolves head back to the bar.

“Okay, let’s get you home,” Patrik says. He tugs Nikolaj out of his seat and helps him into his coat. 

He leads Nikolaj outside and only then, his head cleared by the fresh air, does he process what the she-wolf said to him.

“Wait here,” he says to Nikolaj, hoping his alarm isn’t seeping into his voice. “I forgot, uh. Something.” He leaves Nikolaj on the sidewalk and almost runs back indoors.

Yellow Eyes is back in her human shape, sitting on a bar stool and sipping her drink. She raises an eyebrow when Patrik appears.

“What did you mean?” Patrik blurts.

“About what?” Yellow Eyes answers. She looks and smells honestly confused, so Patrik doesn’t think she’s messing with him.

“You called—you said ‘mate,’” Patrik says, flushing at the word. “We’re not—he doesn’t even know what I _ am.” _

“That’s not all it takes,” she says. Her voice is gentle and Patrik is reminded with a pang of his mother. “I know it’s hard to tell when it’s your own scent, but the two of you—even your scents are in sync. It’s easy to tell when two people are moving towards the same thing.”

Patrik snorts. “He’ll change his mind if he learns what I am. How I’ve been lying to him.” He shakes his head. “Besides, he doesn’t feel like that about me. I would’ve noticed.”

“Haven’t you?” she asks. She relents. “I think he’s very good at lying to himself. Good enough that he’s convinced himself and you of certain things, even those he knows to be true.”

“Well,” Patrik says, “that’s not mysterious at all.”

She just smiles serenely. 

Patrik sighs and goes back out to Nikolaj.

Nikolaj is waiting where Patrik left him, scuffing the toe of his shoe against the sidewalk. He hands Patrik the car keys without a word and stays close to his side on the way to Nikolaj’s place.

“Come up?” Nikolaj asks. He’s slumped in the passenger seat, smelling sad and confused and uncertain.

Patrik nods. 

He tries to catch Nikolaj’s scent, but most of the subtleties are lost in the mess of smells from other people in the building. He convinces himself not to pull Nikolaj close and bury his face in the crook of Nikolaj’s neck to breathe him in properly. That wouldn’t go over well.

Nikolaj takes off his coat and shoes faster and trudges into the apartment ahead of Patrik.

He’s sprawled out on the couch with the corners of his mouth tilted down unhappily and his forehead creased. Patrik tries again to test his scent, but all he can smell is how miserable Nikolaj is.

Patrik sits beside him. With a member of his family, he’d curl up close so they could press together and have the comfort of each other’s presence. That kind of touch isn’t the same with humans, though, and he doesn’t know if it would help Nikolaj.

Instead of doing anything, Patrik sits with him in silence and waits.

“I’m sorry,” Nikolaj says at last. “I shouldn’t have—It was a stupid idea. All that did was convince you they’re all like that.” He sinks deeper into the couch cushions.

Patrik wants to crawl on top of him, press him down and hold him close, press biting kisses to his throat until he stops smelling so upset and—

He clears his throat. “It’s fine,” Patrik says. He doesn’t know what else to add. That he doesn’t think weres are monsters anymore? It’s not like he talked to many while they were there in the first place, and there’s no way Nikolaj could know about his conversation with the wolves.

“But it’s _ not.” _ Nikolaj smells distressed. “I should’ve known that he’d show up, I don’t….” He trails off helplessly. 

“It’s not your fault,” Patrik says firmly. “There are asshole guys in every species, that’s what I learned tonight.” He tries his best to smile reassuringly at Nikolaj. 

Nikolaj sighs, then does something unexpected. He tips sideways until he’s leaning against Patrik’s side, his cheek pressed to Patrik’s shoulder. 

Patrik stiffens. He doesn’t know if Nikolaj notices and ignores it or if he just can’t tell, but he doesn’t react.

“Thanks for trying,” he mumbles. He sounds like he’s half asleep already, his voice thick and soft. “I didn’t wanna, um. Stop being friends because you hate weres.”

Feeling brave, Patrik reaches down to take Nikolaj’s hand and lace their fingers together. “I don’t hate weres,” he says. “I’m—I am one.” 

There’s silence. Then he hears a soft snuffle from Nikolaj and Patrik checks his face. He’s asleep.

Patrik almost laughs hysterically. Of _ course. _

He gets up, careful not to jostle Nikolaj. He gathers Nikolaj into his arms and lifts him off the couch, one arm under his knees and the other at his back. He keeps Nikolaj’s head close to his chest and carries him to his bedroom.

Nikolaj murmurs quietly when Patrik lays him down in his bed, but just wriggles closer against his pillow. He doesn’t look super comfortable in his skinny jeans, but Patrik doesn’t want to wake him up.

Watching Nikolaj sleep feels like a creepy thing to do, so he gathers a couple of throw blankets and spreads them over Nikolaj where he’s lying on top of his comforter. He tucks them carefully around Nikolaj’s shoulders, making sure he’s covered and warm.

He hesitates, then leans down to press a soft kiss to Nikolaj’s forehead.

While he does it, he breathes in deep and inhales Nikolaj’s scent. _ Properly _ this time.

He smells like woodsmoke, weres and booze from the bar, cold and sharp like the winter air, leather from the car, soap and shampoo from a shower earlier that day and a little bit like laundry detergent and the food he had for lunch.

Beneath that, though, is the scent of _ Nikolaj, _ warm and familiar and what weres call true scent. Patrik breathes it in. Deep within Nikolaj’s true scent, Patrik notices something strange—unfamiliar, but somehow not.

It’s his own scent.

It’s hard to recognize his own scent, especially when it’s so faint and is so entwined with Nikolaj’s, but Patrik is certain of it.

Nikolaj’s true scent, the truest and most honest part of himself, contains a little piece of Patrik.

Patrik stands up fast enough that he almost overbalances and falls back. All of that took barely more than a heartbeat. His pulse is racing and all his senses feel like they’ve been dialed to eleven.

He stumbles out of Nikolaj’s bedroom and down the hall to his guest room. He changes into the spare sweats he keeps here and curls under the blankets. His mind is racing.

The yellow-eyed wolf was right. Nikolaj is his mate—sort of.

The mingling of true scents like this means that they’re _ true mates, _ perfectly compatible and balanced. They’re incredibly rare and Patrik has never met anyone who’s found their true mate, let alone heard of a match between a human and a werewolf. 

It’s insane. It’s unheard of. It’s—

It somehow makes perfect sense.

Patrik squeezes his eyes shut and presses his nose into the crisp pillowcase. It smells mostly of laundry detergent. He growls, frustrated. 

He doesn’t know what to do. How can he plan to say any of this to Nikolaj? _ Oh, by the way, I’m a werewolf and I’ve been in love with you since I was eighteen and also we’re basically the were equivalent of soulmates. _

Yeah, that’d go over great.

He breathes slowly until his mind slows down a little. Enough that he can relax, anyway. He’ll keep his mind off of this until after tomorrow’s game.

Then he’ll talk to Nikolaj. 

The smell of coffee wakes him up, the scent bitter even through the closed door. 

Patrik sits up and scrubs a hand over his face. He slept like shit last night. 

He gives himself a shake and doesn’t bother with a shirt before going to the kitchen for breakfast.

Nikolaj is standing at the coffee machine with a mug in front of him, leaning forward against the counter and smelling warm with the last traces of sleep. It takes every ounce of Patrik’s self control not to step closer to wrap Nikolaj into his arms and brush his long hair out of the way so Patrik can kiss his neck.

He shuffles over to the fridge to look for something to eat.

“Oh,” Nikolaj says, apparently just noticing that he’s not alone, “hey. Morning.”

“Morning.” Patrik’s voice is rough and scratchy from sleep. He pulls out a carton of eggs and brushes past Nikolaj to get to the stove.

Nikolaj’s scent flares a little, but Patrik shoves his awareness of that out of his head. He’ll talk to him later.

Patrik makes eggs and toast for breakfast, and Nikolaj hands him a glass of protein shake. Patrik has been making Nikolaj food for years now, but that wolfish part of him still has that same pleased reaction about Nikolaj eating food he made as it did the first time.

He has to look away and checks his phone as an excuse. He has a few texts from Joona, mostly wondering where he is and if he’s coming home. 

The last one says, _ i thought i was joking about the date. _

Patrik winces. There’s someone else he should probably tell.

“Everything okay?” Nikolaj asks. He tilts his head to Patrik’s phone. 

“Yeah, just Joona.” He doesn’t explain what it was that Joona was texting him about, obviously. _ Later, _ Patrik tells himself.

They drive to the rink for morning skate together, most of the night’s unpleasantness forgotten. 

When Joona sees Patrik with Nikolaj and dressed in the same clothes as last night, his eyes go comically wide and he stares at Patrik with an almost betrayed expression on his face.

He manages to keep any opinions about that to himself—until they get back to the apartment. 

“What the fuck,” Joona says. He looks a little wild-eyed. “I didn’t—Nikolaj? Really? And you didn’t say anything?”

“Joona—” Patrik tries to get a word in edgewise, but Joona barely seems to hear him.

“Were you worried I was gonna be, like, homophobic?” Joona doesn’t wait for an answer. “You’re my friend, Pate, I wouldn’t—”

“Joona!” Patrik yells, finally cutting him off. He takes a deep breath while Joona stares at him, mouth open in shock. “I’m not dating Nikolaj,” he says flatly.

“But—”

“But,” Patrik says, not sure if he should be doing this a few hours before a game but deciding it’s too late to back out now, “I have something else I want to tell you.”

Joona blinks expectantly.

“It’ll be easier if I show you,” Patrik says, and he shifts.

Joona’s face is higher than usual from the perspective of a wolf, but the shock there is unmistakable. Joona sits down hard on the couch, still staring at Patrik. It seems he doesn’t know what to say.

Patrik pads closer to him. He freezes when Joona flinches away from him, unable to stop his tail from drooping between his legs. He knew this would happen, he _ knew— _

“Oh,” Joona says. He reaches a hand out uncertainly. His fingers are trembling a little, so Patrik noses at his hand and keeps his mouth shut. Joona laughs a little hysterically and rubs at Patrik’s muzzle. “Holy shit,” he says, then again, “holy _ shit.” _

Patrik huffs. Joona scratches his ears and Patrik’s exasperation dissolves. He wags his tail. Apparently Joona’s instinctive knowledge of what to do with dogs is overpowering any fear he had of Patrik being a wolf.

“Sorry,” Joona says, “I just—I never would’ve guessed, you know?” 

Patrik decides this is a conversation they should have properly, not while Joona is talking to a wolf and Patrik can’t respond in any way he’d understand. He steps away from Joona and shifts back, sitting cross-legged on the floor.

“You okay?” he asks.

Joona still looks kind of shell-shocked. “Uh,” he says. He clears his throat. “Yeah, I think so.”

“You understand why I didn’t tell you, right?”

“Of course,” Joona agrees. He doesn’t smell angry or like he’s lying, and that’s comforting. He looks curious. “Nikolaj knows, right?”

“Well,” Patrik says, “actually—”

“Oh my god,” Joona says. He actually puts his face in his hands. 

It seems that the fact that Patrik is a werewolf is less shocking than the fact that Nikolaj doesn’t know about it.

“But you’re, like, in love!” Joona protests. “How could you keep this secret?” He’s not asking how Patrik is able to hide it, but how he can stand to keep it hidden.

“I don’t want to lose him,” Patrik says quietly. “I didn’t—I couldn’t tell him when we first met because I didn’t know him, then I we weren’t close enough, then we were best friends. Now we’ve been best friends for years. I was scared if I told him now he’d hate me, either for not telling him sooner or for being a wolf.”

Joona catches his use of past tense. “You _ were _ scared?”

“Yeah,” Patrik says. “I’m planning to tell him tomorrow. About—about everything.”

Joona whistles, low, and clasps his shoulder firmly. “You’re still you,” he says, “and you’re still my friend. That hasn’t changed.” With that, he pulls Patrik into a hug. It’s not a bro hug and it isn’t quick, and Patrik feels much better when Joona lets go.

“Thanks for not freaking out,” Patrik says.

“Oh, I’m totally freaking out,” Joona tells him, “it just hasn’t sunk in yet.” He grins and they both laugh. Joona sobers a little. “Good luck, Patrik,” he says. “I’m here if you need me.”

They don’t talk about it for the rest of the day, going about their usual pregame routines like everything is normal. And everything feels normal. In fact, everything feels _ better _ than normal. It feels like some of the weight that’s been on Patrik’s shoulders for years is finally gone—not completely, but a little.

He also feels hopeful, for the first time in a long time, that maybe everything will be okay.

The game that night is against the Canucks. There are a lot of shifters on that team, several of whom are actually known. Like Pettersson—Patrik doesn’t doubt for a second that he would’ve gone higher in the draft if a video of him shifting into his mink shape hadn’t surfaced a few weeks earlier.

The Canucks haven’t been easy to play against this season, but Patrik feels like he can do just about anything right now. He’s flying all over the ice and he’s got two goals by the time the third starts.

He hops over the boards as a penalty kill expires and finds himself near a couple of his own teammates while they scramble for the puck in Pettersson’s skates. 

Copp slams Pettersson into the boards, harder than he needs to. “You don’t belong here, freak,” Copp says. It’s quiet enough that none of the humans would be able to hear it, but Patrik hears it loud and clear.

Boeser hears it, though, because he’s a wolf, too. Only Patrik knows that.

A split second later, Boeser is launching himself at Copp with a snarl. Patrik starts to skate forward as the scrum forms, then hesitates. He doesn’t—What side is he supposed to take? His team, some of whom would hate him if they knew what he is, or his own kind?

In the end, he waffles long enough that the refs break up the fighting before he can do anything. Boeser glares at Patrik as he skates off the ice. 

Patrik can see him well enough to know what he’s saying in the wolf language.

_ Coward. _

The Canucks seem to flag a little after that, and Patrik nets the hat trick on the empty net.

The joy that would’ve been there an hour ago is gone now and he just feels empty. He goes through the motions mechanically, smiling and laughing with the guys when he needs to but the grin falling from his face when people look away.

Nikolaj’s scent wreathes around Patrik and he relaxes a little, despite himself. “Patty?” Nikolaj looks at him, worry in his eyes. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“I’m—” Patrik bites his lip. “I don’t know.”

Kyle is in the shower, so Nikolaj sits in his stall and shifts close to Patrik. He rests a hand on Patrik’s thigh, his blue eyes big and concerned. “You can talk to me,” he says.

Patrik covers Nikolaj’s hand with his own. “I know,” he says, “but not now. Not here. Tomorrow, okay? We can talk then.”

“Okay.” Nikolaj looks confused, but Patrik needs to plan better before he dumps everything on Nikolaj like he did with Joona. That isn’t going to work this time.

Patrik lets go of his hand and finishes getting changed. He tells Joona to wait for him for a few minutes and goes to the visitors’ locker room.

Boeser is waiting for him in the hallway just outside. Patrik doesn’t ask how he knew he was coming. He’s a wolf—it’s pretty obvious.

“Are you here to apologize for your piece of shit teammate?” Boeser asks. “Because I don’t want to hear it from you.”

“I’m not here for him,” Patrik says, “I’m here to apologize for me. I shouldn’t have let that happen. I’m sorry.” 

“Yeah,” Boeser says dryly. He glances around. “I get why you did. You’re the only were, so.” He shrugs. “I’ve been there. I’m not that mad at you, but thanks for apologizing anyway.” He smiles a little. “Besides, it’s probably good you didn’t get involved. That might’ve had us both shifting on the ice and, uh. Nobody wants that.”

Patrik snorts. “Uh huh.” He prepares to turn around when a small, furry face pokes out of Boeser’s suit jacket. 

Pettersson chitters at him and Patrik looks helplessly at Boeser, who shrugs.

“I don’t speak ermine,” he says, “but that’s not his angry squeak. I think he forgives you.”

The ermine gives a brisk nod and Patrik swallows his laugh. “Thanks,” he says. “It won’t happen again.”

“It won’t?” Boeser looks at him sharply. 

Pettersson, curious, scrambles up to perch on Boeser’s shoulder and watches Patrik with his sharp black eyes.

“No,” Patrik says firmly, “it won’t.”

Boeser’s eyes widen in understanding. “Oh,” he says. He nods once. “Good luck, man.” 

Pettersson chirps encouragingly.

Patrik smiles. “Thanks,” he says. He thinks about saying something else, but instead he turns and heads back the way he came. 

Joona doesn’t ask him what he was doing, but he’s probably guessed—he knows Patrik well enough.

Patrik only goes inside long enough to change out of his suit. He’s tired from the game, but he needs to get to the woods, needs to clear his head for a while. 

Joona is already in bed when he leaves, and there’s no light coming from under his door. He probably didn’t sleep well during his pregame nap, so Patrik doesn’t disturb him.

The drive to the woods is quiet and Patrik parks in his usual lot before stepping out of the car and shifting.

The cold air doesn’t bother him when he fluffs out his fur and trots into the trees. He doesn’t want to hunt tonight. All he wants is a few hours of peace in the dark, snowy woods so he can think of what he’s going to say to Nikolaj.

In his wolf shape, those thoughts feel less important than the knowledge that Nikolaj is his true mate. The memory of his scent twisted up in Nikolaj’s makes his tail wag. He trots a little faster, excitement making his heart beat faster.

He knows with certainty that he doesn’t possess even in his human shape that Nikolaj returns his feelings.

Patrik leaps forward, prepared to start off on a run, then his paw comes down hard onto something metal and he hears something click.

He has enough time to realize what’s going on, then the trap snaps shut around his leg.

The sound Patrik makes is caught somewhere between a howl and a scream. He collapses to the ground, hind legs scrabbling weakly in the snow as agony tears through him. He whines in pain.

Every beat of his heart sends fresh pain spiking through him. He can’t start to heal, not with the steel digging into his flesh, and he can’t undo the trap with his paws.

He could try to shift back, but that wouldn’t free him and he probably needs two hands to spring the trap. 

But, he realizes through the haze of pain and blood-stench, he can _ get _ two hands.

He braces himself for the most painful shift of his life and changes.

The shift means that his forearm is caught in the trap now, blood gushing down and making his hand sticky. His breathing is coming too fast and his hand is tingling like it’s going numb.

Luckily, his phone is in his pocket on the same side as his free hand so he fumbles to pull it free. His vision is blurred with tears of pain, but he manages to get it unlocked and fumbles to send his location to Nikolaj along with a probably-misspelled _ please. _

He changes back to his wolf shape, biting out a whimper as the shift tears at his skin again. He can’t stay in his human shape, though. He’ll bleed out faster like that.

The sound of Nikolaj’s boots in the snow reaches him first and his ears prick up. 

“Patrik?” Nikolaj calls.

Patrik pants weakly, unable to work up the strength to bark. He catches Nikolaj’s scent at last—he’s getting closer.

There’s a flash of white light from Nikolaj’s phone’s flashlight, then Nikolaj gasps and hurries closer.

“Oh my god,” he says, “are you okay?” He kneels next to Patrik and immediately starts investigating the trap. 

Patrik knows Nikolaj doesn’t recognize him and he whines. He paws at Nikolaj’s boots and Nikolaj rests a hand on top of his head. He rubs Patrik’s ears gently.

“I’m going to get you out, okay?” he says. “But I have to find my friend. He can help, I know it.” Nikolaj makes to stand up again and Patrik’s fear is strong enough that he musters a bark. “I won’t be gone long,” Nikolaj says, confused, “I’ll be—” His voice cuts off.

He’s seen Patrik’s phone.

Patrik hadn’t had the strength to put his phone away, so it hadn’t gone into the strange pocket dimension with his clothes and belongings when he went wolf. 

Nikolaj picks up Patrik’s phone, hands shaking. He looks at Patrik with huge, scared eyes. “Patrik?” he whispers.

Patrik whines and nudges his nose against Nikolaj’s hand.

“Holy shit,” Nikolaj whispers.

The blood loss is starting to take its toll on Patrik and he slumps against the ground, closing his eyes.

“No, no no no,” Nikolaj says, his hands fluttering over Patrik’s fur. His scent is sour with fear. “I—I’ll get you out, just hang on, okay, I just need to find something I can open this with—” Nikolaj scrambles to his feet and runs back into the woods.

He’s gone long enough that Patrik starts to worry that he isn’t coming back—maybe there are other traps out there and one of them caught Nikolaj and now he’s bleeding out in the snow and all Patrik can do is lie here uselessly.

Then, right when Patrik feels like hope is lost, Nikolaj comes back. He has a sturdy branch in his hands and he gets to work immediately trying to pry open the trap. Patrik whines and digs his claws into the ground every time the steel teeth shift against him, but Nikolaj grits his teeth and pushes on.

The trap gets open enough that Nikolaj can yank Patrik’s paw free right before it snaps shut again, this time splintering the branch. 

Patrik doesn’t move. His leg hurts so much and he feels weak and dizzy. He’ll heal much faster than a regular human, but an injury like this is still going to take most of the night.

“Patrik,” Nikolaj says, his voice trembling, “are you—you okay?” He sinks to the ground beside Patrik’s head and buries his fingers in the thick fur at his neck. He’s shaking.

Patrik nudges his nose against Nikolaj’s hip until he leans down so their faces are close together. Patrik licks his cheek.

Despite himself, Nikolaj giggles. It’s a bit hysterical, but it’s a start.

Nikolaj wraps his arms around Patrik’s neck and hugs him, burying his face in his fur. He’s crying a bit. His tears freeze in Patrik’s fur and Patrik knows they can’t stay out here much longer, not if Nikolaj wants to live through the night without getting hypothermia.

It takes almost everything he has left to shift into his human shape, and he wraps his good arm around Nikolaj.

Nikolaj jerks back at the feeling of Patrik’s change and he stares up at his face. Nikolaj reaches up and touches his cheek, like he’s trying to make sure Patrik is real. “But you….” He trails off into silence. “Later,” he says. “Come on. You need a hospital, or—”

“No,” Patrik interrupts, his voice hoarse, “no hospitals. Just… take me home. Please.”

Nikolaj hesitates for a second before helping Patrik to his feet. “Okay,” he says, “let’s go home.”

The walk back to the parking lot takes a lot longer than usual. Nikolaj is half-carrying Patrik because even though his legs are working, he’s still weak and dizzy. They also have to move slowly so they don’t accidentally step on another trap.

Nikolaj bundles him into the backseat of his car and strips off his coat so Patrik can wrap his arm. He closes his eyes and presses his cheek against the leather upholstery that smells like Nikolaj.

The drive passes in a blur. 

Nobody notices them on the way up to Nikolaj’s apartment, either because it’s so late or because the way Patrik is leaning against Nikolaj makes it look like they’re just a couple of drunk guys. 

Nikolaj drags Patrik to the bathroom and lays him down in the bathtub before hurrying to find first aid supplies.

He cuts Patrik’s sleeves so he can wash the wound, which already looks to be closing. Nikolaj works carefully with a cloth to wash away the blood between Patrik’s fingers and away from the actual wound.

They get Patrik out of his clothes, bloodstained and chilled with melted snow. Patrik’s never going to be able to wear that jacket again. He’s left in his boxers, which fortunately escaped the same damage as his other clothes.

Patrik checks to see that his hand still works, wiggling his fingers one at a time while Nikolaj wraps a bandage around his arm. A human would need stitches, but not a werewolf.

Nikolaj finds him some food and water and Patrik eats all of it ravenously. He hadn’t realized how hungry he is.

“Okay,” Nikolaj says finally. “You can’t sleep in the bathtub. Get up, come on.”

Patrik feels a little better, but he still needs to rely on Nikolaj to help him to bed. The blankets and pillows feel unbelievably good to Patrik’s aching body, but also _ unfamiliar. _

“Nikolaj,” he murmurs, confused, “this is your bed.” He’s too tired to move, so if Nikolaj made a mistake then _ he _ can have the guest room.

“I know,” Nikolaj says. He changes into a pair of flannel pajama pants and climbs into bed, pulling the blankets over both of them. He wraps an arm around Patrik’s waist and snuggles close, the bare skin of his chest warm against Patrik’s still-cold body.

Nikolaj’s scent is everywhere.

Normally, that’s dizzying and heady. Now, it’s calming. Patrik knows he’s safe, he knows that _ Nikolaj _ is safe, and as long as they’re together then everything will be alright.

He falls asleep with the familiar warmth and comfort of _ pack _ in his heart.

Patrik wakes up first the next morning. The first thing he registers is that the pain in his arm is gone. The next thing he realizes is that they moved during the night. He’s facing Nikolaj now, and they’re holding each other close.

Outside Nikolaj’s window, snow has begun to fall.

Nikolaj is still asleep, his face soft and framed by his messy blond hair. Patrik carefully tucks a piece of it behind his ear before untangling himself from Nikolaj’s iron grip and sitting up.

His head swims at the sudden motion and he feels cold without Nikolaj’s embrace. Instead of giving in to the urge to curl up next to him and ignore the rest of the world forever, Patrik makes his way to the bathroom and has the hottest shower he can stand. He finds his sweatpants in the guest room and pulls them on.

He’s making breakfast when Nikolaj gets up. He listens to Nikolaj shuffle around in his room, then in the shower, then he finally comes into the kitchen. Patrik pushes a mug of coffee into his hands.

“We’re having this conversation when you’re actually awake,” Patrik tells him.

Nikolaj nods sleepily and sits down at the breakfast bar until Patrik gives him a plate.

They don’t say much for the next hour, dividing their time between eating and cleaning up the mess in the bathroom.

Patrik feels underdressed when Nikolaj makes him sit down in the living room and says, “explain.” He doesn’t smell or sound angry, so Patrik takes a deep breath and does his best.

“I’ve wanted to tell you for a long time,” he says, “but I could never find the right time. At first we didn’t really know each other, then we were best friends and I didn’t know if you’d be upset that I didn’t tell you sooner. And I didn’t know how you feel about weres until, like, three days ago, so.” He smiles wryly.

“You didn’t trust me?” Nikolaj asks. He looks sad. 

“Of course I did,” Patrik says, reaching out and taking Nikolaj’s hands. “I just—I’d never told any humans before. I didn’t know what to do. And it was harder because—because you’re my, uh.” He bites the inside of his cheek and frowns, not sure how to explain the concept of true mates to Nikolaj.

“I’m your what?” Nikolaj tilts his head, eyes wide and impossibly blue.

“I’m in love with you,” Patrik blurts. “That’s why I was so scared. I wouldn’t have been able to stand losing you as a best friend, but once I fell in love with you, well.” He shrugs and looks down at their tangled hands.

He’d been so confident last night, so _ sure _ that Nikolaj would return his feelings, but now Nikolaj isn’t saying a word.   
  
Patrik starts to pull his hands away and stand up, wishing he’d kept his stupid mouth shut, then Nikolaj’s hands tighten around his and pull him back to the couch. He looks up at Nikolaj, surprised, then Nikolaj lets go of Patrik’s hands, takes his face firmly in his hands, and leans up to kiss him firmly on the mouth.

Instinct takes over. Patrik grabs Nikolaj’s waist and holds him close, kissing him hard as Nikolaj’s hands slip from his face to clutch at his bare shoulders.

The kiss is deep and intense and Patrik can smell Nikolaj’s arousal as he shifts impossibly closer.

His scent makes Patrik dizzy and he tears himself away from Nikolaj’s mouth long enough to bury his face in the side of Nikolaj’s throat and breathe in deep. He sets his teeth against the skin there and gets to work on marking him up.

“Wanted this for so long,” he mutters between bites and kisses. “Wanted—wanted to leave marks on you, so everybody knows—” He cuts himself off and ducks back in to suck another mark into his throat. 

Nikolaj is _ loud, _ whining through his teeth as Patrik gives him a collar of bruises and moaning when Patrik gets a hand in his hair to pull his head back a little more. His fingers slip over Patrik’s chest and shoulders, then he clasps his hands behind Patrik’s neck and holds on.

“Patrik,” he gasps, “Patty, _ Patrik, _ I—” His fingers tangle in the hair at the back of Patrik’s neck.

Patrik licks over the newest mark and looks up. Nikolaj is flushed, his hair is mussed from Patrik’s hands and the blue of his eyes is almost invisible because of how dark they are. Nikolaj’s lips are parted so he can try to catch his breath. His tongue pokes out of the corner of his mouth and he licks his lips.

He’s so _ much. _ Patrik feels like he’s on fire, burning from the inside out. He buries his face in Nikolaj’s hair, breathing in slowly until the flames subside. He clenches his jaw to keep his teeth from getting too long and sharp. Nikolaj strokes his fingers through his hair, shivering in his arms.

“Do you—take me to bed,” Nikolaj says, his scent thick with desperate arousal. He blushes bright red when he says it and crawls into Patrik’s lap to bury his face in his shoulder.

Patrik grabs him tight under the thighs and stands up. Nikolaj squeaks and wraps his arms tight around Patrik’s neck. Careful not to overbalance and send both of them crashing to the floor, Patrik carries Nikolaj down the hall to his bedroom and lies him down on the mattress. 

The wolf parts of him remind him that he has to take care of Nikolaj, be gentle and careful with him because he’s a human and he’s fragile.

Patrik strips off his sweatpants and he’s naked. 

Nikolaj, meanwhile, is struggling to get out of his sweater. Patrik watches for a second, amused, then he climbs into bed to help him out of his clothes.

Once they’re both naked, Patrik presses Nikolaj against the mattress and kisses him slow and soft, catching his lower lip in his teeth as he pulls away. Nikolaj chases his mouth before he realizes what he’s doing and drops his head back against the pillow. He wraps his legs around Patrik’s waist and tries to pull him closer. 

It’s not really possible because they’re already pressed together completely, but they give it a good try. Patrik grinds his hips down against Nikolaj’s and Nikolaj moans at the pressure on his cock, arching up against Patrik for more.

They kiss for a long time, rocking together slowly until all Patrik can smell are their scents tangled together in the air, heady and overwhelming.

Nikolaj eventually gets a hand on Patrik’s chest and pushes him away gently so he can sit up. Patrik sits back on his heels, head tilted curiously as Nikolaj rummages around in his nightstand. He turns back around and presses something small into Patrik’s hand before lying back down.

Patrik looks down at the mystery object. It’s lube. He snaps his eyes back up to Nikolaj, who flushes and looks away.

“I thought, um. You know.” Nikolaj bites his lip and looks back at Patrik. “I thought you’d want to.”

“Fuck, Niky,” Patrik breathes, and he can’t stop himself from leaning in close to kiss him again. Then he realizes something else. “You don’t want a condom?”

Nikolaj’s blush deepens. “I looked it up this morning, um. I read that you, uh, can’t get sick? So.” He trails off, his face the same colour as a tomato.

Patrik sucks in a breath and ducks down so their faces are close together. “It’s true,” he murmurs. “You want it? You’re sure?”

Nikolaj nods. “I want it,” he says, “please.”

Patrik kisses him softly, then moves from his mouth to his jaw and down his throat. He kisses down Nikolaj’s chest, pausing to mouth at his nipples and make him moan before sliding all the way down so he’s level with Nikolaj’s cock.

“Patrik,” Nikolaj whimpers. His fingers twist in the sheets, his breath coming faster in anticipation.

Nikolaj’s breath catches as Patrik kisses his thighs, then uses his teeth to leave marks there, too. He gets his mouth everywhere except where Nikolaj wants it most, waiting until Nikolaj is practically sobbing before he licks up his cock.

All of Patrik’s senses are overwhelmed by Nikolaj. The salty taste of his precome, the scent of his arousal, the sounds of his moans, the warmth of his thighs under Patrik’s hands and the sight of him, sprawled and flushed as Patrik takes him apart, all of it is almost too much for Patrik.

He sucks Nikolaj’s dick while he slicks his fingers, keeping him distracted before sliding one finger over his hole. Nikolaj whines, his hips twitching. Patrik holds his hips down with one arm and slips his finger inside.

If he thought Nikolaj was loud before, it was nothing compared to the sounds he makes with Patrik’s mouth on his cock and his fingers inside him. Nikolaj throws his head back, his hips twitching between Patrik’s mouth and his hand like he can’t decide what he wants more.

Patrik has three fingers curled against Nikolaj’s prostate when Nikolaj shoves at his shoulder and tells him to get on with it.

He slides his fingers out, catching Nikolaj’s bitten-off whine when he does. He slicks up his cock and looks down at Nikolaj, considering. 

Nikolaj flushes at Patrik’s scrutiny. He draws his knees in a little and Patrik’s chest swells with fondness. He just had Nikolaj’s dick in his mouth and _ now _ Nikolaj wants to get shy?

“Here,” Patrik says, “like this.” He guides Nikolaj to roll onto his front and presses against his back, stroking a hand down his side to reassure him.

Nikolaj arches his hips off the mattress, trying to grind up against Patrik. “Come on,” he mumbles. He stretches out and buries his face in his folded arms. 

Patrik kisses his shoulder, the back of his neck, then he lines up and presses in slowly. 

He spent long enough fingering Nikolaj that it’s easy to slide all the way inside until his hips are flush with Nikolaj’s ass. 

A punched-out moan escapes Nikolaj. 

Patrik kisses the skin he can reach, bracing himself on one arm while his other hand strokes Nikolaj’s flank.

“Okay,” Nikolaj breathes, turning his face to the side, “go ahead.” He shuts his eyes and his mouth falls open as Patrik rocks his hips into him.

He keeps his rhythm slow, focusing on Nikolaj’s scent and sounds to notice what he likes best. He likes when Patrik touches his hair and kisses his neck, and he _ really _ likes the change in angle that has Patrik’s cock right against his prostate.

Nikolaj’s noises get higher in pitch as he gets closer and he comes with a soft cry. 

Before Patrik can pull out to get himself off with his hand, Nikolaj reaches back and grabs his hip to keep him in place. Something hot spikes in Patrik’s chest and he presses Nikolaj down and fucks him until he comes, digging his teeth into Nikolaj’s shoulder. 

After a minute of trying to catch his breath, Patrik pulls out carefully. Nikolaj whimpers, pressing his thighs together as Patrik’s come leaks out of him. Patrik drags his fingers up the backs of Nikolaj’s legs, pushing his own come back into Nikolaj.

Nikolaj shudders, legs twitching with overstimulation. Finally he gasps, “too much, too much,” and Patrik stops.

He helps Nikolaj to his knees and pulls him into his lap. They have to shower, but right now Patrik wants to savour the way Nikolaj smells; warm and sated and content and, most importantly, like he’s Patrik’s.

Nikolaj kisses his collarbone absently. “I’ve gotta shower,” he mumbles. “I feel gross.” 

Despite that, they stay in bed for another few minutes before getting up to stumble to the shower on wobbly legs.

Patrik turns the water on to the exact right heat, getting out two fresh towels while the water warms up. Nikolaj watches him bustle around, amused.

“Are you going to be like this every time?” he asks, winding his arms around Patrik’s waist and looking up at him. His eyelashes are wet and dark from the spray.

Patrik shrugs. “It’s instinct,” he says. “I want to take care of you."

“Oh,” Nikolaj says softly. His cheeks are pink, but Patrik can’t tell if it’s from his blush or because of the hot water. Nikolaj leans up to kiss him sweetly. “Just so you know,” he murmurs, still plastered against Patrik, “I love you.”

Patrik kisses him again.

They don’t try for a second round in the shower, only trading a few soft kisses before they wash up. Nikolaj stands under the hot water for a while longer, letting the heat beat down on his aching muscles.

Patrik dries off quickly and goes into Nikolaj’s bedroom. He strips off the wet sheets but leaves the ones that had escaped damage, then goes around the apartment for as many blankets and pillows as he can find.

Nikolaj comes into the room while Patrik places one of the guest room pillows on his bed. “Uh,” he says, “Patty?”

Patrik holds a hand out to him and Nikolaj steps closer, raising an eyebrow. Nikolaj takes his hand, still looking confused. Patrik tugs him close and kisses him before bearing him down gently into the mess of blankets and pillows.

Nikolaj lets him. “Is this a wolf thing or something?” he asks, smiling as Patrik makes sure he’s comfortable before curling around him. He laces his fingers through Patrik’s where his hand rests on Nikolaj’s sternum.

“Maybe,” Patrik says, nipping at the back of Nikolaj’s neck. “Do you not like it?” He doesn’t want to make Nikolaj uncomfortable, though he still smells content.

“No, I do,” Nikolaj says, snuggling back against Patrik. “It’s nice.”

Patrik hugs him closer, pressing his smile into Nikolaj’s skin. “I’m going to tell the team tomorrow,” he says quietly. “About—about me.” 

Nikolaj squeezes his hand. “You’re sure?” he asks. “You know they’re not all going to like it.” 

“I know,” Patrik answers, “but as long as you’re still with me then I don’t care.”

“Oh,” Nikolaj breathes. He turns his head a little, enough for Patrik to lean forward and catch his mouth in a kiss. “I’m with you,” he mumbles against Patrik’s mouth. They have to part after a moment, the angle not very kind on their necks.

Patrik tucks his nose against Nikolaj’s skin and breathes in slowly.

Tomorrow, he’ll have to deal with whatever fallout comes from telling his teammates the truth.

Now, he has Nikolaj in his arms and they’re warm in his bed as snow falls softly outside. 

Patrik holds Nikolaj tight and doesn’t think about tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> warning: patrik gets caught in a trap near the end but nikolaj saves him and all is well!
> 
> had a good time with this. uh. procrastinating studying for finals to write werewolf fic. it be like that.
> 
> [tumblr](https://symphony7inamajor.tumblr.com)
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/symphony7inAmaj)


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